“Have
yourself a crazy little Christmas
with those magnificently funny men in
their Top Gear machines as A Top Gear
Christmas roars into the bookshops
just in time for the festive season...”
IMAGINE A CHRISTMAS PANTOMIME with Top Gear presenters. Well, perhaps not...
A Top Gear Christmas paints a terrifying picture of a spoof panto with
Jeremy Clarkson as The Jeremy In The Lamp and The Stig as Goldie Opposite-Locks.
But not content with this scary prospect, the guys at Top Gear go one
step beyond. With their imagination running riot, they suggest new ways to get
around this Christmas. How about the Snowbine seen on the front cover, which
is excellent for driving in a blizzard, or a Caravan Airship which has a minimal
chance of arriving where you need to be — great, if you need an excuse!
Follow Jeremy's guide to wrapping gifts, Richard's look at festive jumpers,
James as he steps into Santa's shoes and the secrets of The Stig's Christmas
dinner. Discover the wish-lists of each presenter and how to go carol-singing
Top Gear-style with such gems as Silent Car, Away In His Office
and We Three Kings (Of Top Gear Are).
Along with a spoof advertisement for a very unfriendly hostelry called The Fat
Gut and James May's quiz and puzzle time, be inspired by Nigella Hammond's Festive
Feast, what to drive for a Christmas presence and tips for having a great Top
Gear New Year's Eve Party.
Unmissable Television for Christmas Day lists Last Of The Summer Gear
and Jeremy Clarkson's alternative Coronation Street (which should have
been entitled Destruction Street) and there is the usual Christmas feast
of fast cars and shiny metal.
MotorBar's favourite section is a brilliant Seventies comic strip called The
Interceptors starring James Steed, Roger St Hammond and Jason Clarkson and
a red, a blue and a yellow Jensen Interceptor — hilarious! If you read
nothing else this Christmas, this is a must; and we also liked Rudolph The
Red-Nosed Roller and thought Top Gear's answer to Thunderbirds,
Top Gear Rescue, was excellent.
See how Christmas is done at the Top Gear hangar. It's mad, bad and so
much more fun than sitting on the sofa watching old quiz shows with the oldies
for company this Christmas. Top Gear promises to save you from the sprout
boredom of Christmas with a lavishly-tooled new book in which you can find all
you need for a tasty seasonal treat. We can tell you it isn't a turkey, but
it is meaty, clever and hilarious; a dip-in treat with relish.
•
A
Top Gear Christmas by Richard Porter is an engine-fuelled, high-octane Top
Gear take on the festive season, as only the Top Gear boys can do
it. This venture into the Christmas world of Top Gear-isms is published
by BBC Books on 29 September 2011. The best value £12.99 (RRP) you'll spend
in 2011!
"A Top Gear Christmas… it isn't a turkey, but it is meaty, clever and
hilarious; a dip-in treat with relish" — Maggie Woods, MotorBar
"If you want your festive season to go with a bang, dive into A Top Gear
Christmas now… Not literally. If you really want to dive into something
this Christmas you'd be better off with a swimming pool or lake — although
be warned: it will be rather cold. Frankly you'd be better off staying at home
and reading this book" — Top Gear's Publicist
“Have
yourself a crazy little Christmas