Motoring Wit: Quips and Quotes for the Auto-Obsessed | Book review by Maggie Woods

“Lost for ideas for a gift for the love
in your life? If he (or she) drives or
loves cars, they'll appreciate the
clever, intriguing and witty little book
Motoring Wit: Quips and Quotes
for the Auto-Obsessed...”

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR ALL MOTORING FANATICS comes in an A5-sized hardback book and is loaded with one-liners and observations that are guaranteed to have everyone laughing out loud.

Motoring Wit: Quips and Quotes for the Auto-Obsessed claims to be as "jam-packed as the M25 on a bank holiday weekend with bumper-to-bumper revved-up retorts and gear-crunching gags." This neat little book with its fine black and white drawings is the ideal companion to life on the open road — just the thing to keep in the glove box for when the engine overheats or you're waiting for your partner to finish the shop!

Whether the 'significant other' in your life is a petrolhead, a Top Gear fan, a boy/girl racer, car geek or a would-be Lewis Hamilton, this little book of laughs has been compiled especially for them by author Aubrey Malone. Easy to dip into, Motoring Wit has just the right line or gag for every car-related occasion.

The thirty-two chapters include such fascinating sections as The Meaning Of Motoring, Sorry Officer, Bad Drivers, Think Before You Drive (always a good thing!), Stateside, Warning Signs and Road Rage.

The erstwhile Stirling Moss has his own chapter. Stirling Words contains quotes from the great man such as: "There are two things no man will admit he can't do well: drive and make love" and: "If God wanted us to walk, he'd have given us pogo sticks instead of feet. Feet are made to fit car pedals". Classic!

Even Prince Philip gets a look-in with: "When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife" and Tim Allen quips: "A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a few days".

Comedienne Joan Rivers isn't to be outdone: "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk". "Formula One is a vast and private Scalextric set for megalomaniac millionaires" says Paul Weaver and other one-liners include: "Save petrol — make roads shorter"; Hertz Van Rental was a Dutch painter" and "It takes a lot of bread to own a Rolls".

One of my favourites is: "A girl should hang onto her youth — but not while he's driving!" and you can learn why cars are better than public transport and how a man's ego is linked to his car. After all, says Christy Campbell, "the E-type Jag was the great British phallic symbol".

There is an intriguing line from a letter James Dean wrote to a girlfriend and a marvellous quote from the Chief Constable of Gloucester — very un-PC! Simon Evans cracks you up with: "There are people working in McDonald's in Soho who can see parking meters earning more than they are" and an Editor's note briefly introduces the book and concludes: "Fasten your seat belt and fall about laughing at the worst of the driveway models. Henry Ford has a lot to answer for!"

• Motoring Wit: Quips and Quotes for the Auto-Obsessed by Aubrey Malone is available now in hardback format (207 pages) from all good bookshops and internet booksellers or by telephoning Mail Order at Summersdale on +44 (0) 1234 771 107 | RRP: �9.99 | ISBN: 978 1 84024 703 9.

"The perfect gift for all motoring fanatics comes in an A5-sized hardback book and is loaded with one-liners and observations that are guaranteed to have everyone laughing out loud" — Maggie Woods, MotorBar

Motoring Wit is part of the Summersdale Wit Series that includes: Golfing Wit; Rugby Wit; Football Wit; Wicket Wit; Sporting Wit; Country Wit; Wicked Irish Wit; Wit of the Nation; Brit Wit; More Brit Wit; Old Git Wit; More Old Git Wit; Half Wit and (save your blushes!) Naughty Wit. An ideal gift for everyone!

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